How to Approach Portraits So They Feel Effortless, Not Awkward
When most couples sit down with me for the first time, I hear the same concern:“
We’re not photogenic.”
“One of us really hates being in front of a camera.”
“We don’t want awkward, posed photos.”
If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. I’d estimate 8 out of 10 couples tell me some version of this. And it makes sense — we live in a world of filters and perfected images, where it’s easy to feel self-conscious. Many people have also had stiff or uncomfortable photo experiences in the past.
The good news? Your portraits don’t need to feel like that. Done right, portraits can be natural, even fun — and when you look back years later, you’ll remember the experience with warmth, not tension.
Why portraits feel intimidating
It’s not about whether you “look good.” It’s about how being photographed can feel exposing. Everyone, from model-beautiful to self-proclaimed “awkward,” tends to be hard on themselves in front of the camera.
The difference comes from the experience. If portraits are rushed, over-posed, or silent, couples can feel frozen. If they’re guided gently, with movement and feedback, they start to feel like themselves again.
My approach: movement, feedback, and flow
When I begin portraits, I don’t start with stiff poses. I start with movement.
“Walk down this path together. Look at each other. Talk about something silly. Hold hands.”
It sounds simple, but it works. Movement takes the focus off the camera. From there, I weave in small prompts:
“Pause for a second in that pool of light.”
“Lean into each other.”
“Go ahead, kiss her on the cheek.”
All along, I give constant feedback. Silence makes people self-conscious; feedback keeps them relaxed and moving.
The goal is to build momentum — to create energy that flows, instead of stopping and starting with rigid poses.
Reading the room
Every couple responds differently to being photographed. Some love the attention and open up right away. Others freeze when the lens comes too close.
Part of my job is to read that quickly and adapt. Sometimes it means stepping in closer. Other times it means backing up and letting the moment breathe from a distance.
Great portraits aren’t about a formula. They’re about balance: guiding when needed, and stepping back when the real, unscripted moment is stronger than anything I could direct.
When nerves turn into enjoyment
I see it happen all the time — especially during engagement sessions. Couples arrive nervous, saying, “We’re not good at this.” Fifteen minutes later, they’re laughing, exploring, and forgetting the camera is even there.
By the end, almost everyone tells me the same thing: “That was actually fun. We can’t wait for the wedding.”
That’s not an accident. It’s the result of approaching portraits as an experience, not a performance.
The experience lives in the photo
Portraits aren’t just about how you look in the final image. They’re about how you felt when the photo was made.
If you felt awkward, the photo will bring that awkwardness back — even if it looks “perfect.” If you felt relaxed, connected, and joyful, the photo will carry those feelings with it for years.
That’s why I put as much care into the experience of being photographed as I do into the photos themselves. The two are inseparable.
How to make portraits effortless
Here’s what I want couples to know:
You don’t need to “perform” for the camera. Just be together.
Movement helps — walk, talk, interact. It’s more natural than holding still.
Feedback matters — your photographer should guide you, not leave you in silence.
The right balance of direction and space creates portraits that feel like you.
When portraits feel effortless, they stop being something to endure. They become some of the most meaningful — and enjoyable — parts of your wedding day.
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